Dogs are famous for their loyalty, love, and knack for making us laugh. From their mischievous behavior to their surprising intelligence, these jokes highlight the funny and lovable moments that make dogs such special companions. Get ready to laugh out loud at these hilarious dog antics!
1. The Dinner Table Dilemma
A woman was meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time over dinner. Unfortunately, she had a terrible case of an upset stomach. Seated at the dinner table, she decided to quietly let out a little gas, hoping no one would notice. To her dismay, the small fart was audible enough for everyone to hear. The father looked at her, then at the dog lying behind her chair, and said, “Max.”
Relieved that they thought it was the dog, she felt a bit more at ease. A few minutes later, the pain returned, and she released another, this time louder. Again, the father shouted, “MAX!” Feeling confident, she decided to fully relieve herself with a much longer fart. The father stood up, looked at the dog, and exclaimed, “Max! For the love of God, move before she craps on you!”
2. The Genius Shopper
A butcher was chasing a dog out of his shop when he noticed a $10 bill and a note in the dog’s mouth that read, “Five lamb chops, please.” Amazed, the butcher took the money and gave the dog a bag of lamb chops. He decided to follow the dog to see where it would go.
The dog waited at a crosswalk, looked both ways, and crossed the street. Then, the dog walked to a bus stop, checked the schedule, and waited for the bus. Once the bus arrived, the dog boarded, and the butcher followed. When they reached the suburbs, the dog pressed the “Stop” button and got off the bus. The dog ran up to a house, dropped the bag at the door, and threw himself against the door repeatedly.
A man came to the door and began yelling at the dog. The butcher ran up and said, “Why are you yelling at this dog? He’s a genius!” The owner replied, “Genius, my butt… It’s the second time this week he forgot his keys!”
3. The Nap-Loving Visitor
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into a man’s yard. Judging by the dog’s collar and well-fed appearance, it was clear he had a home. The dog calmly approached the man, who gave him a pat on the head. The dog then followed him inside, curled up in a corner, and fell asleep.
This routine continued for weeks—every day, the dog would arrive, take a nap for an hour, and then leave. Curious, the man pinned a note to the dog’s collar, asking if the owner knew that the dog was taking daily naps at his house. The next day, the dog returned with a note that read, “He lives with six kids, two under the age of three. He’s trying to catch up on sleep. Can I come too?”
4. The Pub Plasterer
A dog walked into a pub, ordered a pint and a ham sandwich. The bartender, surprised, said, “Wait, you’re a dog… and you can talk?” The dog responded, “I see your eyes and ears work. Now, can I have my beer and sandwich?”
The bartender, amazed, said, “We don’t get many talking dogs here. What brings you this way?” The dog replied, “I’m working as a plasterer on the building site across the road.”
The same thing happened for two weeks. One day, a circus came to town, and the bartender suggested the dog join the circus. The dog replied, “The circus? With tents and animals in cages? Why would they need a plasterer?”
5. Corgi Comedy
Why aren’t Corgi jokes funny? Because they’re all too short!
6. The Talking Dog for Sale
A man saw a sign reading “Talking Dog for Sale” outside a house. Curious, he knocked, and the owner pointed to the backyard. The man asked the dog, “You talk?” The dog replied, “Yes.”
The dog then explained how he had once worked for the CIA, traveling the world and gathering intelligence by listening to conversations. He retired, started a family, and settled down. Impressed, the man asked why the owner was selling the dog for just $10. The owner replied, “Because he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that.”
7. The Skateboarding Dog
A man complained to his neighbor, “I’m fed up with my dog. He chases anyone on a skateboard.” The neighbor asked, “What are you going to do about it?” The man shrugged and said, “I guess I’ll have to take his skateboard away.”
Whether they’re causing mischief or just being their lovable selves, dogs never fail to bring joy and laughter into our lives. These jokes showcase the heartwarming and hilarious moments only our furry friends can create!
